I'm up here in the nuthouse

A campfire song I learned at Lake Celeste as a child:

I'm up here in the nuthouse
my brains are in a rut
my counselor says I'm crazy
but he's just off his nut

I'm just as sane as you are
and I can prove it too
just listen to this lullabye
that proves I'm not cuckoo

I was born one night one morn'
when the whistles went boom-boom
you could bake a steak, you could fry a cake
when the mudpies are in bloom
do six and six make nine
does ice grow on a vine
do you make an ice cream shake with absinthe rum and wine?

Oh, a loop-de-loop in the noodle soup
and give your socks a shine
I'm guilty, judge, I stole the fudge
three cheers for Auld lang syne
I cannot tell a lie
I stole that case of rye
it's on the bridge, beneath the sea, above the deep blue sky!

Oh I'm a villain, a dirty rotten villain
I leave a trail of blood where 'er I go
I take delight in starting up a fight
I hit babies on the head 'til they're dead

I have gotten a rep for being rotten
I put poison in my grandma's Shredded Wheat
I eat
raw meat
I hit babies on the head 'til they're dead

I fell out of a window, a second story window
caught my eyelash on the sill, the sill
Quick! Get the axe, there's a fly on baby's mustache
Man's best friend is his mother
you're a liar
no I amn't
you've been drinking
no I haven't
pardon me

absence makes the heart grow fonder,
peroxide makes the hair grow blonder
my grandma bought a horse
yay! poison ivy!