2000-12-01

Albania

Albania, a pseudocult at Simon’s Rock College, was originally a joint idea between Seth and me to direct our baseless venom against a new nation each week. On the north wall of our room was a world map, and one day in early September we starting throwing things at it, and ridiculing the thereby-selected targets.

One memorable target was the Central African Republic, which we denigrated, somewhat contradictorily, for (1) its people’s lack of creativity in choosing a name for their soverign state, and (2) for being difficult to find (assuming, of course, that one starts looking for the Central African Republic in the south Pacific Ocean).

When we hit Albania, an almost religious hush fell over us. “Albania.” “Albania.” “Who the hell cares about Albania?” “Goddamn Albanians.” “Mother&*#@ing Albanians.”

And so was Albania born.

Mind you, this discussion predated Wag the Dog by three years. I can’t help but wonder …