A rather intelligent, dreamy (as in, prone to dreaming) boy named Bjorn-Erik. I present three viewpoints of the boy:

The Good

(It's said)
There is a beacon of light
That shows a direct path to millions of directions.
an ocean of different emotions foretelling their futures
Solitary isolation inspiring a mesh of connections
many do not see this
few can receive this glorious sight
looking into the sky, he sees them all.

circa 1996

The Bad

Case study of Bjorn-Erik

Disclaimer: This is humor. Put your pants back on, Bjorn.

Ah, here we see the most pathetic case of both abnormal paranoid and abject bitterness combined with a large dose of dysthymia in the subject resulting in a profound effect on ability to relate.

Not much about Erik’s earlier life is known. He did date a girl a few times in high school who lost interest in him quite quickly. Even though he admits he wasn’t “that into her” her holds on to her memory with a bitterness usually reserved for a broken engagement.

Dating in general seems to be a problem for Erik. His friends have made the joke that he molests sloths, most likely in Madagascar. While humorous, this joke shows how his complete lack of function in the dating area is evident even to the casual observer. There is also the issue of the imaginary girlfriends he bragged of and sustained for at least one semester. The why of this is not clear, considering most of his friends also did not have relationships either. However, jealousy and low self-esteem most likely played a role. Or perhaps Erik was trying to shake the monkey (or sloth if you will) of being unaccepted by his peers from his back.

Even more interesting than the subject’s (non) dating life is his paranoia. He seems to be very into conspiracies, to the point where practical jokes become his entire focus.In combination with his imaginary girlfriends that he believes as real, this seems to suggest schizophrenia. Further testing would be helpful here.

However, his oedipus complex should not be overlooked. Erik’s references to “yer mom”, often sexual in nature, seem to suggest that he needs a mother very badly, and in sexual relations looks for a mother figure. Combined with his lack of discussion about his mother, it would suggest that he never got the nurture he desired, and this need has manifested itself in sexual longings for relationships with older women and other people’s mothers.

I think the patient would benefit from being removed from society. Getting laid might not hurt either. He needs to get over it, all of it, from his lack of parental affection to his paranoia. I sense that the subject is still nursing old wounds to the point that they will not heal. I also suggest a color-blindness test, due to the fact that he mistook a blue car for a red camero. Unanswered remains the question of “The Man”, is this a father figure in a sense that is where he directs all his fears about an all knowing and powerful father? One who is never really seen, but knows exactly what he does? Only intensive therapy will help with this enigma.

Ophelia, circa 1995

The Ugly

And I ask you, is it fair? You live by screwing over other people and slacking off. Lying, cheating and stealing. Me, I get people laid, make them fall in love, give their lives enough meaning for them to go on. I can’t lie, cheat or steal because it isn’t in my nature and I’m not good at it.

by Bjorn himself, circa 1995

with great affection, dmd